Tag: the onion
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http://ift.tt/1dt8984 ‘BLOOMINGTON, IN—Speaking loudly and quickly without any notable pauses, a team of manic researchers at Indiana University announced at a press conference Wednesday that they are mere hours away from a permanent cure for depression. The wide-eyed, unblinking scientists, who paced back and forth along the podium while nodding…
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via Tumblr http://joshuastarlight.tumblr.com/post/69739490434/via-ebenezer-screwed-the-onion-americas
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NEW YORK—Following an Aug. 28 rally in Washington, D.C. attended by an estimated 87,000 Americans, experts confirmed this week that the U.S. populace appears to have fallen under the spell of yet another pink-faced half-wit. Enlarge ImageThe latest pink-faced half-wit. The most recent pink-faced halfwit has reportedly captured the popular…
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+ charles coughlin, Culture, glenn beck, humor, Michael Moore, politics, satire, society, Talk radio, the onion, truth, understanding, united states, Washington+
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NEW YORK—Responding to recent events on Earth, God, the omniscient creator-deity worshipped by billions of followers of various faiths for more than 6,000 years, angrily clarified His longtime stance against humans killing each other Monday. Enlarge ImageGod. “Look, I don’t know, maybe I haven’t made myself completely clear, so for…